the illustrious gaudissart- 第4部分

Gaudissart　was　thirty…eight　years　of　age；　of　medium　height；　stout　and

fat　like　men　who　roll　about　continually　in　stage…coaches；　with　a　face

as　round　as　a　pumpkin；　ruddy　cheeks；　and　regular　features　of　the　type

which　sculptors　of　all　lands　adopt　as　a　model　for　statues　of

Abundance；　Law；　Force；　Commerce；　and　the　like。　His　protuberant　stomach

swelled　forth　in　the　shape　of　a　pear；　his　legs　were　small；　but　active

and　vigorous。　He　caught　Jenny　up　in　his　arms　like　a　baby　and　kissed

her。



〃Hold　your　tongue；　young　woman！〃　he　said。　〃What　do　you　know　about

Saint…Simonism；　antagonism；　Fourierism；　criticism；　heroic　enterprise；

or　woman's　freedom？　I'll　tell　you　what　they　are；ten　francs　for　each

subscription；　Madame　Gaudissart。〃



〃On　my　word　of　honor；　you　are　going　crazy；　Gaudissart。〃



〃More　and　more　crazy　about　YOU；〃　he　replied；　flinging　his　hat　upon　the

sofa。



The　next　morning　Gaudissart；　having　breakfasted　gloriously　with　Jenny；

departed　on　horseback　to　work　up　the　chief　towns　of　the　district　to

which　he　was　assigned　by　the　various　enterprises　in　whose　interests　he

was　now　about　to　exercise　his　great　talents。　After　spending　forty…five

days　in　beating　up　the　country　between　Paris　and　Blois；　he　remained

two　weeks　at　the　latter　place　to　write　up　his　correspondence　and　make

short　visits　to　the　various　market　towns　of　the　department。　The　night

before　he　left　Blois　for　Tours　he　indited　a　letter　to　Mademoiselle

Jenny　Courand。　As　the　conciseness　and　charm　of　this　epistle　cannot　be

equalled　by　any　narration　of　ours；　and　as；　moreover；　it　proves　the

legitimacy　of　the　tie　which　united　these　two　individuals；　we　produce

it　here：



　　〃My　dear　Jenny；You　will　lose　your　wager。　Like　Napoleon；

　　Gaudissart　the　illustrious　has　his　star；　but　NOT　his　Waterloo。　I

　　triumph　everywhere。　Life　insurance　has　done　well。　Between　Paris

　　and　Blois　I　lodged　two　millions。　But　as　I　get　to　the　centre　of

　　France　heads　become　infinitely　harder　and　millions　correspondingly

　　scarce。　The　article　Paris　keeps　up　its　own　little　jog…trot。　It　is

　　a　ring　on　the　finger。　With　all　my　well…known　cunning　I　spit　these

　　shop…keepers　like　larks。　I　got　off　one　hundred　and　sixty…two

　　Ternaux　shawls　at　Orleans。　I　am　sure　I　don't　know　what　they　will

　　do　with　them；　unless　they　return　them　to　the　backs　of　the　sheep。



　　〃As　to　the　article　journalthe　devil！　that's　a　horse　of　another

　　color。　Holy　saints！　how　one　has　to　warble　before　you　can　teach

　　these　bumpkins　a　new　tune。　I　have　only　made　sixty…two　'Movements'：

　　exactly　a　hundred　less　for　the　whole　trip　than　the　shawls　in　one

　　town。　Those　republican　rogues！　they　won't　subscribe。　They　talk；

　　they　talk；　they　share　your　opinions；　and　presently　you　are　all

　　agreed　that　every　existing　thing　must　be　overturned。　You　feel　sure

　　your　man　is　going　to　subscribe。　Not　a　bit　of　it！　If　he　owns　three

　　feet　of　ground；　enough　to　grow　ten　cabbages；　or　a　few　trees　to

　　slice　into　toothpicks；　the　fellow　begins　to　talk　of　consolidated

　　property；　taxes；　revenues；　indemnities；a　whole　lot　of　stuff；　and

　　I　have　wasted　my　time　and　breath　on　patriotism。　It's　a　bad

　　business！　Candidly；　the　'Movement'　does　not　move。　I　have　written

　　to　the　directors　and　told　them　so。　I　am　sorry　for　iton　account

　　of　my　political　opinions。



　　〃As　for　the　'Globe；'　that's　another　breed　altogether。　Just　set　to

　　work　and　talk　new　doctrines　to　people　you　fancy　are　fools　enough

　　to　believe　such　lies；why；　they　think　you　want　to　burn　their

　　houses　down！　It　is　vain　for　me　to　tell　them　that　I　speak　for

　　futurity；　for　posterity；　for　self…interest　properly　understood；

　　for　enterprise　where　nothing　can　be　lost；　that　man　has　preyed　upon

　　man　long　enough；　that　woman　is　a　slave；　that　the　great

　　providential　thought　should　be　made　to　triumph；　that　a　way　must　be

　　found　to　arrive　at　a　rational　co…ordination　of　the　social　fabric；

　　in　short；　the　whole　reverberation　of　my　sentences。　Well；　what　do

　　you　think？　when　I　open　upon　them　with　such　ideas　these　provincials

　　lock　their　cupboards　as　if　I　wanted　to　steal　their　spoons　and　beg

　　me　to　go　away！　Are　not　they　fools？　geese？　The　'Globe'　is　smashed。

　　I　said　to　the　proprietors；　'You　are　too　advanced；　you　go　ahead　too

　　fast：　you　ought　to　get　a　few　results；　the　provinces　like　results。'

　　However；　I　have　made　a　hundred　'Globes；'　and　I　must　say；

　　considering　the　thick…headedness　of　these　clodhoppers；　it　is　a

　　miracle。　But　to　do　it　I　had　to　make　them　such　a　lot　of　promises

　　that　I　am　sure　I　don't　know　how　the　globites；　globists；　globules；

　　or　whatever　they　call　themselves；　will　ever　get　out　of　them。　But

　　they　always　tell　me　they　can　make　the　world　a　great　deal　better

　　than　it　is；　so　I　go　ahead　and　prophesy　to　the　value　of　ten　francs

　　for　each　subscription。　There　was　one　farmer　who　thought　the　paper

　　was　agricultural　because　of　its　name。　I　Globed　HIM。　Bah！　he　gave

　　in　at　once；　he　had　a　projecting　forehead；　all　men　with　projecting

　　foreheads　are　ideologists。



　　〃But　the　'Children'；　oh！　ah！　as　to　the　'Children'！　I　got　two

　　thousand　between　Paris　and　Blois。　Jolly　business！　but　there　is　not

　　much　to　say。　You　just　show　a　little　vignette　to　the　mother；

　　pretending　to　hide　it　from　the　child：　naturally　the　child　wants　to

　　see；　and　pulls　mamma's　gown　and　cries　for　its　newspaper；　because

　　'Papa　has　DOT　his。'　Mamma　can't　let　her　brat　tear　the　gown；　the

　　gown　costs　thirty　francs；　the　subscription　sixeconomy；　result；

　　subscription。　It　is　an　excellent　thing；　meets　an　actual　want；　it

　　holds　a　place　between　dolls　and　sugar…plums；　the　two　eternal

　　necessities　of　childhood。



　　〃I　have　had　a　quarrel　here　at　the　table　d'hote　about　the

　　newspapers　and　my　opinions。　I　was　unsuspiciously　eating　my　dinner

　　next　to　a　man　with　a　gray　hat　who　was　reading　the　'Debats。'　I　said

　　to　myself；　'Now　for　my　rostrum　eloquence。　He　is　tied　to　the

　　dynasty；　I'll　cook　him；　this　triumph　will　be　capital　practice　for

　　my　ministerial　talents。'　So　I　went　to　work　and　praised　his

　　'Debats。'　Hein！　if　I　didn't　lead　him　along！　Thread　by　thread；　I

　　began　to　net　my　man。　I　launched　my　four…horse　phrases；　and　the　F…

　　sharp　arguments；　and　all　the　rest　of　the　cursed　stuff。　Everybody

　　listened；　and　I　saw　a　man　who　had　July　as　plain　as　day　on　his

　　mustache；　just　ready　to　nibble　at　a　'Movement。'　Well；　I　don't　know

　　how　it　was；　but　I　unluckily　let　fall　the　word　'blockhead。'

　　Thunder！　you　should　have　seen　my　gray　hat；　my　dynastic　hat

　　（shocking　bad　hat；　anyhow）；　who　got　the　bit　in　his　teeth　and　was

　　furiously　angry。　I　put　on　my　grand　airyou　knowand　said　to　him：

　　'Ah；　ca！　Monsieur；　you　are　remarkably　aggressive；　if　you　are　not

　　content；　I　am　ready　to　give　you　satisfaction；　I　fought　in　July。'

　　'Though　the　father　of　a　family；'　he　replied；　'I　am　ready'

　　'Father　of　a　family！'　I　exclaimed；　'my　dear　sir；　have　you　any

　　children？'　'Yes。'　'Twelve　years　old？'　'Just　about。'　'Well；　then；

　　the　〃Children's　Journal〃　is　the　very　thing　for　you；　six　francs　a

　　year；　one　number　a　month；　double　columns；　edited　by　great　literary

　　lights；　well　got　up；　good　paper；　engravings　from　charming　sketches

　　by　our　best　artists；　actual　colored　drawings　of　the　Indieswill

　　not　fade。'　I　fired　my　broadside　'feelings　of　a　father；　etc。；

　　etc。；'in　short；　a　subscription　instead　of　a　quarrel。　'There's

　　nobody　but　Gaudissart　who　can　get　out　of　things　like　that；'　said

　　that　little　cricket　Lamard　to　the　big　Bulot　at　the　cafe；　when　he

　　told　him　the　story。



　　〃I　leave　to…morrow　for　Amboise。　I　shall　do　up　Amboise　in　two　days；

　　and　I　will　write　next　from　Tours；　where　I　shall　measure　swords

　　with　the　inhabitants　of　that　colorless　region；　colorless；　I　mean；

　　from　the　intellectual　and　speculative　point　of　view。　But；　on　the

　　word　of　a　Gaudissart；　they　shall　be　toppled　over；　toppled　down

　　floored；　I　say。



　　〃Adieu；　my　kitten。　Love　me　always；　be　faithful；　fidelity　through

　　thick　and　thin　is　one　of　the　attributes　of　the　Free　Woman。　Who　is

　　kissing　you　on　the　eyelids？





〃Thy　Felix　Forever。〃







CHAPTER　III



Five　days　later　Gaudissart　started　from　the　Hotel　des　Faisans；　at

which　he　had　put　up　in　Tours；　and　went　to　Vouvray；　a　rich　and　populous

district　where　the　public　mind　seemed　to　him　susceptible　of

cultivation。　Mounted　upon　his　horse；　he　trotted　along　the　embankment

thinking　no　more　of　his　phrases　than　an　actor　thinks　of　his　part　which

he　has　played　for　a　hundred　times。　It　was　thus　that　the　illustrious

Gaudissart　went　his　cheerful　way；　admiring　the　landscape；　and　little

dreaming　that　in　the　happy　valleys　of　Vouvray　his　commercial

infallibility　was　about　to　perish。



Here　a　few　remarks　upon　the　public　mind　of　Touraine　are　essential　to

our　story。　The　subtle；　satirical；　epigrammatic　tale…telling　spirit

stamped　on　every　page　of　Rabelais　is　the　faithful　expression　of　the

Tourangian　mind；a　mind　polished　and　refined　as　it　should　be　in　a

land　where　the　kings　of　F