resurrection(复活)- 第15部分

When　she　left　him；　trembling　and　silent；　giving　no　answer　to　his
words；　he　again　went　out　into　the　porch　and　stood　trying　to
understand　the　meaning　of　what　had　happened。

It　was　getting　lighter。　From　the　river　below　the　creaking　and
tinkling　and　sobbing　of　the　breaking　ice　came　still　louder　and　a
gurgling　sound　could　now　also　be　heard。　The　mist　had　begun　to
sink；　and　from　above　it　the　waning　moon　dimly　lighted　up
something　black　and　weird。

〃What　was　the　meaning　of　it　all？　Was　it　a　great　joy　or　a　great
misfortune　that　had　befallen　him？〃　he　asked　himself。


CHAPTER　XVIII。

AFTERWARDS。

The　next　day　the　gay；　handsome；　and　brilliant　Schonbock　joined
Nekhludoff　at　his　aunts'　house；　and　quite　won　their　hearts　by　his
refined　and　amiable　manner；　his　high　spirits；　his　generosity；　and
his　affection　for　Dmitri。

But　though　the　old　ladies　admired　his　generosity　it　rather
perplexed　them；　for　it　seemed　exaggerated。　He　gave　a　rouble　to
some　blind　beggars　who　came　to　the　gate；　gave　15　roubles　in　tips
to　the　servants；　and　when　Sophia　Ivanovna's　pet　dog　hurt　his　paw
and　it　bled；　he　tore　his　hemstitched　cambric　handkerchief　into
strips　（Sophia　Ivanovna　knew　that　such　handkerchiefs　cost　at
least　15　roubles　a　dozen）　and　bandaged　the　dog's　foot。　The　old
ladies　had　never　met　people　of　this　kind；　and　did　not　know　that
Schonbock　owed　200；000　roubles　which　he　was　never　going　to　pay；
and　that　therefore　25　roubles　more　or　less　did　not　matter　a　bit
to　him。　Schonbock　stayed　only　one　day；　and　he　and　Nekhludoff
both；　left　at　night。　They　could　not　stay　away　from　their　regiment
any　longer；　for　their　leave　was　fully　up。

At　the　stage　which　Nekhludoff's　selfish　mania　had　now　reached　he
could　think　of　nothing　but　himself。　He　was　wondering　whether　his
conduct；　if　found　out；　would　be　blamed　much　or　at　all；　but　he　did
not　consider　what　Katusha　was　now　going　through；　and　what　was
going　to　happen　to　her。

He　saw　that　Schonbock　guessed　his　relations　to　her　and　this
flattered　his　vanity。

〃Ah；　I　see　how　it　is　you　have　taken　such　a　sudden　fancy　to　your
aunts　that　you　have　been　living　nearly　a　week　with　them；〃
Schonbock　remarked　when　he　had　seen　Katusha。　〃Well；　I　don't
wondershould　have　done　the　same。　She's　charming。〃　Nekhludoff
was　also　thinking　that　though　it　was　a　pity　to　go　away　before
having　fully　gratified　the　cravings　of　his　love　for　her；　yet　the
absolute　necessity　of　parting　had　its　advantages　because　it　put　a
sudden　stop　to　relations　it　would　have　been　very　difficult　for
him　to　continue。　Then　he　thought　that　he　ought　to　give　her　some
money；　not　for　her；　not　because　she　might　need　it；　but　because　it
was　the　thing　to　do。

So　he　gave　her　what　seemed　to　him　a　liberal　amount；　considering
his　and　her　station。　On　the　day　of　his　departure；　after　dinner；
he　went　out　and　waited　for　her　at　the　side　entrance。　She　flushed
up　when　she　saw　him　and　wished　to　pass　by；　directing　his
attention　to　the　open　door　of　the　maids'　room　by　a　look；　but　he
stopped　her。

〃I　have　come　to　say　good…bye；〃　he　said；　crumbling　in　his　hand　an
envelope　with　a　100…rouble　note　inside。　〃There；　I〃　。　。　。

She　guessed　what　he　meant；　knit　her　brows；　and　shaking　her　head
pushed　his　hand　away。

〃Take　it；　oh；　you　must！〃　he　stammered；　and　thrust　the　envelope
into　the　bib　of　her　apron　and　ran　back　to　his　room；　groaning　and
frowning　as　if　he　had　hurt　himself。　And　for　a　long　time　he　went
up　and　down　writhing　as　in　pain；　and　even　stamping　and　groaning
aloud　as　he　thought　of　this　last　scene。　〃But　what　else　could　I
have　done？　Is　it　not　what　happens　to　every　one？　And　if　every　one
does　the　same　。　。　。　well　I　suppose　it　can't　be　helped。〃　In　this
way　he　tried　to　get　peace　of　mind；　but　in　vain。　The　recollection
of　what　had　passed　burned　his　conscience。　In　his　soulin　the
very　depths　of　his　soulhe　knew　that　he　had　acted　in　a　base；
cruel；　cowardly　manner；　and　that　the　knowledge　of　this　act　of　his
must　prevent　him；　not　only　from　finding　fault　with　any　one　else；
but　even　from　looking　straight　into　other　people's　eyes；　not　to
mention　the　impossibility　of　considering　himself　a　splendid；
noble；　high…minded　fellow；　as　he　did　and　had　to　do　to　go　on
living　his　life　boldly　and　merrily。　There　was　only　one　solution
of　the　problemi。e。；　not　to　think　about　it。　He　succeeded　in　doing
so。　The　life　he　was　now　entering　upon；　the　new　surroundings；　new
friends；　the　war；　all　helped　him　to　forget。　And　the　longer　he
lived；　the　less　he　thought　about　it；　until　at　last　he　forgot　it
completely。

Once　only；　when；　after　the　war；　he　went　to　see　his　aunts　in　hopes
of　meeting　Katusha；　and　heard　that　soon　after　his　last　visit　she
had　left；　and　that　his　aunts　had　heard　she　had　been　confined
somewhere　or　other　and　had　gone　quite　to　the　bad；　his　heart
ached。　According　to　the　time　of　her　confinement；　the　child　might
or　might　not　have　been　his。　His　aunts　said　she　had　gone　wrong；
that　she　had　inherited　her　mother's　depraved　nature；　and　he　was
pleased　to　hear　this　opinion　of　his　aunts'。　It　seemed　to　acquit
him。　At　first　he　thought　of　trying　to　find　her　and　her　child；　but
then；　just　because　in　the　depths　of　his　soul　he　felt　so　ashamed
and　pained　when　thinking　about　her；　he　did　not　make　the　necessary
effort　to　find　her；　but　tried　to　forget　his　sin　again　and　ceased
to　think　about　it。　And　now　this　strange　coincidence　brought　it
all　back　to　his　memory；　and　demanded　from　him　the　acknowledgment
of　the　heartless；　cruel　cowardice　which　had　made　it　possible　for
him　to　live　these　nine　years　with　such　a　sin　on　his　conscience。
But　he　was　still　far　from　such　an　acknowledgment；　and　his　only
fear　was　that　everything　might　now　be　found　out；　and　that　she　or
her　advocate　might　recount　it　all　and　put　him　to　shame　before
every　one　present。


CHAPTER　XIX。

THE　TRIALRESUMPTION。

In　this　state　of　mind　Nekhludoff　left　the　Court　and　went　into　the
jurymen's　room。　He　sat　by　the　window　smoking　all　the　while；　and
hearing　what　was　being　said　around　him。

The　merry　merchant　seemed　with　all　his　heart　to　sympathise　with
Smelkoff's　way　of　spending　his　time。　〃There；　old　fellow；　that　was
something　like！　Real　Siberian　fashion！　He　knew　what　he　was　about；
no　fear！　That's　the　sort　of　wench　for　me。〃

The　foreman　was　stating　his　conviction；　that　in　some　way　or　other
the　expert's　conclusions　were　the　important　thing。　Peter
Gerasimovitch　was　joking　about　something　with　the　Jewish　clerk；
and　they　burst　out　laughing。　Nekhludoff　answered　all　the
questions　addressed　to　him　in　monosyllables　and　longed　only　to　be
left　in　peace。

When　the　usher；　with　his　sideways　gait；　called　the　jury　back　to
the　Court；　Nekhludoff　was　seized　with　fear；　as　if　he　were　not
going　to　judge；　but　to　be　judged。　In　the　depth　of　his　soul　he
felt　that　he　was　a　scoundrel；　who　ought　to　be　ashamed　to　look
people　in　the　face；　yet；　by　sheer　force　of　habit；　he　stepped　on
to　the　platform　in　his　usual　self…possessed　manner；　and　sat　down；
crossing　his　legs　and　playing　with　his　pince…nez。

The　prisoners　had　also　been　led　out；　and　were　now　brought　in
again。　There　were　some　new　faces　in　the　Court　witnesses；　and
Nekhludoff　noticed　that　Maslova　could　not　take　her　eyes　off　a
very　fat　woman　who　sat　in　the　row　in　front　of　the　grating；　very
showily　dressed　in　silk　and　velvet；　a　high　hat　with　a　large　bow
on　her　head；　and　an　elegant　little　reticule　on　her　arm；　which　was
bare　to　the　elbow。　This　was；　as　he　subsequently　found　out；　one　of
the　witnesses；　the　mistress　of　the　establishment　to　which　Maslova
had　belonged。

The　examination　of　the　witnesses　commenced：　they　were　asked　their
names；　religion；　etc。　Then；　after　some　consultation　as　to　whether
the　witnesses　were　to　be　sworn　in　or　not；　the　old　priest　came　in
again；　dragging　his　legs　with　difficulty；　and；　again　arranging
the　golden　cross　on　his　breast；　swore　the　witnesses　and　the
expert　in　the　same　quiet　manner；　and　with　the　same　assurance　that
he　was　doing　something　useful　and　important。

The　witnesses　having　been　sworn；　all　but　Kitaeva；　the　keeper　of
the　house；　were　led　out　again。　She　was　asked　what　she　knew　about
this　affair。　Kitaeva　nodded　her　head　and　the　big　hat　at　every
sentence　and　smiled　affectedly。　She　gave　a　very　full　and
intelligent　account；　speaking　with　a　strong　German　accent。　First
of　all；　the　hotel　servant　Simeon；　whom　she　knew；　came　to　her
establishment　on　behalf　of　a　rich　Siberian　merchant；　and　she　sent
Lubov　back　with　him。　After　a　time　Lubov　returned　with　the
merchant。　The　merchant　was　already　somewhat　intoxicatedshe
smiled　as　she　said　thisand　went　on　drinking　and　treating　the
girls。　He　was　short　of　money。　He　sent　this　same　Lubov　to　his
lodgings。　He　had　taken　a　〃predilection〃　to　her。　She　looked　at　the
prisoner　as　she　said　this。

Nekhludoff　thought　he　saw　Maslova　smile　here；　and　this　seemed
disgusting　to　him。　A　strange；　indefinite　feeling　of　loathing；
mingled　with　suffering；　arose　in　him。

〃And　what　was　your　opinion　of　Maslova？〃　asked　the　blushing　and
confused　applicant　for　a　judicial　post；　appointed　to　act　as
Maslova's　advocate。

〃Zee　ferry　pesht；〃　answered　Kitaeva。　〃Zee　yoong　voman　is　etucated
and　elecant。　She　was　prought　up　in　a　coot　family　and　can　reat
French。　She　tid　have　a　trop　too　moch　sometimes；　put　nefer　forcot
herse