anne of the island- 第46部分

chain。　　One　energetic　twist　and　it　gave　way。　　Anne　thrust　the

broken　trinket　into　her　pocket。　　Her　hands　were　trembling　and

her　eyes　were　smarting。



But　she　was　the　gayest　of　all　the　gay　revellers　that　night；　and

told　Gilbert　unregretfully　that　her　card　was　full　when　he　came　to

ask　her　for　a　dance。　　Afterwards；　when　she　sat　with　the　girls

before　the　dying　embers　at　Patty's　Place；　removing　the　spring

chilliness　from　their　satin　skins；　none　chatted　more　blithely

than　she　of　the　day's　events。



〃Moody　Spurgeon　MacPherson　called　here　tonight　after　you　left；〃

said　Aunt　Jamesina；　who　had　sat　up　to　keep　the　fire　on。　　〃He　didn't

know　about　the　graduation　dance。　　That　boy　ought　to　sleep　with　a

rubber　band　around　his　head　to　train　his　ears　not　to　stick　out。

I　had　a　beau　once　who　did　that　and　it　improved　him　immensely。

It　was　I　who　suggested　it　to　him　and　he　took　my　advice；　but　he

never　forgave　me　for　it。〃



〃Moody　Spurgeon　is　a　very　serious　young　man；〃　yawned　Priscilla。

〃He　is　concerned　with　graver　matters　than　his　ears。　　He　is　going

to　be　a　minister；　you　know。〃



〃Well；　I　suppose　the　Lord　doesn't　regard　the　ears　of　a　man；〃

said　Aunt　Jamesina　gravely；　dropping　all　further　criticism　of

Moody　Spurgeon。　　Aunt　Jamesina　had　a　proper　respect　for　the

cloth　even　in　the　case　of　an　unfledged　parson。









Chapter　XXXVIII



False　Dawn





〃Just　imagine　　this　night　week　I'll　be　in　Avonlea　　delightful　thought！〃

said　Anne；　bending　over　the　box　in　which　she　was　packing　Mrs。　Rachel　Lynde's

quilts。　〃But　just　imagine　　this　night　week　I'll　be　gone　forever　from

Patty's　Place　　horrible　thought！〃



〃I　wonder　if　the　ghost　of　all　our　laughter　will　echo　through　the　maiden

dreams　of　Miss　Patty　and　Miss　Maria；〃　speculated　Phil。



Miss　Patty　and　Miss　Maria　were　coming　home；　after　having　trotted　over

most　of　the　habitable　globe。



〃We'll　be　back　the　second　week　in　May〃　wrote　Miss　Patty。　　〃I　expect

Patty's　Place　will　seem　rather　small　after　the　Hall　of　the　Kings　at

Karnak；　but　I　never　did　like　big　places　to　live　in。　　And　I'll　be　glad

enough　to　be　home　again。　　When　you　start　traveling　late　in　life　you're

apt　to　do　too　much　of　it　because　you　know　you　haven't　much　time　left；

and　it's　a　thing　that　grows　on　you。　　I'm　afraid　Maria　will　never　be

contented　again。〃



〃I　shall　leave　here　my　fancies　and　dreams　to　bless　the　next　comer；〃

said　Anne；　looking　around　the　blue　room　wistfully　　her　pretty　blue

room　where　she　had　spent　three　such　happy　years。　　She　had　knelt　at

its　window　to　pray　and　had　bent　from　it　to　watch　the　sunset　behind

the　pines。　　She　had　heard　the　autumn　raindrops　beating　against　it

and　had　welcomed　the　spring　robins　at　its　sill。　　She　wondered　if

old　dreams　could　haunt　rooms　　if；　when　one　left　forever　the　room

where　she　had　joyed　and　suffered　and　laughed　and　wept；　something

of　her；　intangible　and　invisible；　yet　nonetheless　real；　did　not

remain　behind　like　a　voiceful　memory。



〃I　think；〃　said　Phil；　〃that　a　room　where　one　dreams　and　grieves

and　rejoices　and　lives　becomes　inseparably　connected　with　those

processes　and　acquires　a　personality　of　its　own。　　I　am　sure　if　I

came　into　this　room　fifty　years　from　now　it　would　say　'Anne；　Anne'

to　me。　　What　nice　times　we've　had　here；　honey！　　What　chats　and

jokes　and　good　chummy　jamborees！　　Oh；　dear　me！　　I'm　to　marry　Jo

in　June　and　I　know　I　will　be　rapturously　happy。　　But　just　now

I　feel　as　if　I　wanted　this　lovely　Redmond　life　to　go　on　forever。〃



〃I'm　unreasonable　enough　just　now　to　wish　that；　too；〃　admitted　Anne。

〃No　matter　what　deeper　joys　may　come　to　us　later　on　we'll　never　again

have　just　the　same　delightful；　irresponsible　existence　we've　had　here。

It's　over　forever；　Phil。〃



〃What　are　you　going　to　do　with　Rusty？〃　asked　Phil；　as　that

privileged　pussy　padded　into　the　room。



〃I　am　going　to　take　him　home　with　me　and　Joseph　and　the　Sarah…cat；〃

announced　Aunt　Jamesina；　following　Rusty。　　〃It　would　be　a　shame

to　separate　those　cats　now　that　they　have　learned　to　live　together。

It's　a　hard　lesson　for　cats　and　humans　to　learn。〃



〃I'm　sorry　to　part　with　Rusty；〃　said　Anne　regretfully；　〃but　it

would　be　no　use　to　take　him　to　Green　Gables。　　Marilla　detests

cats；　and　Davy　would　tease　his　life　out。　　Besides；　I　don't

suppose　I'll　be　home　very　long。　　I've　been　offered　the

principalship　of　the　Summerside　High　School。〃



〃Are　you　going　to　accept　it？〃　asked　Phil。



〃I　　I　haven't　decided　yet；〃　answered　Anne；　with　a　confused　flush。



Phil　nodded　understandingly。　　Naturally　Anne's　plans　could　not　be

settled　until　Roy　had　spoken。　　He　would　soon　　there　was　no　doubt

of　that。　　And　there　was　no　doubt　that　Anne　would　say　〃yes〃　when　he

said　〃Will　you　please？〃　　Anne　herself　regarded　the　state　of　affairs

with　a　seldom…ruffled　complacency。　　She　was　deeply　in　love　with　Roy。

True；　it　was　not　just　what　she　had　imagined　love　to　be。　　But　was

anything　in　life；　Anne　asked　herself　wearily；　like　one's　imagination

of　it？　　It　was　the　old　diamond　disillusion　of　childhood　repeated　

the　same　disappointment　she　had　felt　when　she　had　first　seen　the

chill　sparkle　instead　of　the　purple　splendor　she　had　anticipated。

〃That's　not　my　idea　of　a　diamond；〃　she　had　said。　　But　Roy　was　a

dear　fellow　and　they　would　be　very　happy　together；　even　if　some

indefinable　zest　was　missing　out　of　life。　　When　Roy　came　down　that

evening　and　asked　Anne　to　walk　in　the　park　every　one　at　Patty's

Place　knew　what　he　had　come　to　say；　and　every　one　knew；　or　thought

they　knew；　what　Anne's　answer　would　be。



〃Anne　is　a　very　fortunate　girl；〃　said　Aunt　Jamesina。



〃I　suppose　so；〃　said　Stella；　shrugging　her　shoulders。　　〃Roy　is　a

nice　fellow　and　all　that。　　But　there's　really　nothing　in　him。〃



〃That　sounds　very　like　a　jealous　remark；　Stella　Maynard；〃　said

Aunt　Jamesina　rebukingly。



〃It　does　　but　I　am　not　jealous；〃　said　Stella　calmly。　　〃I　love

Anne　and　I　like　Roy。　　Everybody　says　she　is　making　a　brilliant

match；　and　even　Mrs。　Gardner　thinks　her　charming　now。　　It　all

sounds　as　if　it　were　made　in　heaven；　but　I　have　my　doubts。

Make　the　most　of　that；　Aunt　Jamesina。〃



Roy　asked　Anne　to　marry　him　in　the　little　pavilion　on　the　harbor

shore　where　they　had　talked　on　the　rainy　day　of　their　first　meeting。

Anne　thought　it　very　romantic　that　he　should　have　chosen　that　spot。

And　his　proposal　was　as　beautifully　worded　as　if　he　had　copied　it；

as　one　of　Ruby　Gillis'　lovers　had　done；　out　of　a　Deportment　of

Courtship　and　Marriage。　　The　whole　effect　was　quite　flawless。

And　it　was　also　sincere。　　There　was　no　doubt　that　Roy　meant

what　he　said。　　There　was　no　false　note　to　jar　the　symphony。

Anne　felt　that　she　ought　to　be　thrilling　from　head　to　foot。

But　she　wasn't；　she　was　horribly　cool。　　When　Roy　paused

for　his　answer　she　opened　her　lips　to　say　her　fateful　yes。

And　then　　she　found　herself　trembling　as　if　she　were　reeling

back　from　a　precipice。　　To　her　came　one　of　those　moments　when　we

realize；　as　by　a　blinding　flash　of　illumination；　more　than　all

our　previous　years　have　taught　us。　　She　pulled　her　hand　from　Roy's。



〃Oh；　I　can't　marry　you　　I　can't　　I　can't；〃　she　cried；　wildly。



Roy　turned　pale　　and　also　looked　rather　foolish。　　He　had　

small　blame　to　him　　felt　very　sure。



〃What　do　you　mean？〃　he　stammered。



〃I　mean　that　I　can't　marry　you；〃　repeated　Anne　desperately。

〃I　thought　I　could　　but　I　can't。〃



〃Why　can't　you？〃　Roy　asked　more　calmly。



〃Because　　I　don't　care　enough　for　you。〃



A　crimson　streak　came　into　Roy's　face。



〃So　you've　just　been　amusing　yourself　these　two　years？〃　he　said　slowly。



〃No；　no；　I　haven't；〃　gasped　poor　Anne。　　Oh；　how　could　she　explain？

She　COULDN'T　explain。　　There　are　some　things　that　cannot　be　explained。

〃I　did　think　I　cared　　truly　I　did　　but　I　know　now　I　don't。〃



〃You　have　ruined　my　life；〃　said　Roy　bitterly。



〃Forgive　me；〃　pleaded　Anne　miserably；　with　hot　cheeks　and

stinging　eyes。



Roy　turned　away　and　stood　for　a　few　minutes　looking　out　seaward。

When　he　came　back　to　Anne；　he　was　very　pale　again。



〃You　can　give　me　no　hope？〃　he　said。



Anne　shook　her　head　mutely。



〃Then　　good…bye；〃　said　Roy。　　〃I　can't　understand　it　　I

can't　believe　you　are　not　the　woman　I've　believed　you　to　be。

But　reproaches　are　idle　between　us。　　You　are　the　only　woman

I　can　ever　love。　　I　thank　you　for　your　friendship；　at　least。

Good…bye；　Anne。〃



〃Good…bye；〃　faltered　Anne。　　When　Roy　had　gone　she　sat　for　a　long

time　in　the　pavilion；　watching　a　white　mist　creeping　subtly　and

remorselessly　landward　up　the　harbor。　　It　was　her　hour　of　humiliation

and　self…contempt　and　shame。　　Their　waves　went　over　her。　　And　yet；

underneath　it　all；　was　a　queer　sense　of　recovered　freedom。



She　slipped　into　Patty's　Place　in　the　dusk　and　escaped　to　her　room。

But　Phil　was　there　on　the　window　seat。



〃Wait；〃　said　Anne；　flushing　to　anticipate　the　scene。　　〃Wait　til

you　hear　what　I　have　to　say。　　Phil；　Roy　asked　me　to　marry　him…and

I　r