robert falconer- 第93部分

sayin'　't；　for　it's　God's　trowthlat　me　tell　you；　'at　gin　ye　gang

on　that　gait　ye'll　be　sidin'　wi'　the　Pharisee；　an'　no　wi'　oor　Lord。

Ye　may　lippen　to　yer　wife；　ay；　an'　to　Jessie　hersel'；　that　kens

better　nor　eyther　o'　ye；　no　to　mak　little　o'　virginity。　　Faith！　they

think　mair　o'　't　than　ye　do；　I'm　thinkin'；　efter　a'；　only　it's　no　a

thing　to　say　muckle　aboot。　　An'　it's　no　to　stan'　for　a'thing；　efter

a'。'



Silence　followed。　　John　sat　down　again；　and　buried　his　face　in　his

hands。　　At　length　he　murmured　from　between　them；



'The　lassie's　weel？'



'Ay；'　answered　Robert；　and　silence　followed　again。



'What　wad　ye　hae　me　do？'　asked　John；　lifting　his　head　a　little。



'I　wad　hae　ye　sen'　a　kin'　word　till　her。　　The　lassie's　hert's　jist

longin'　efter　ye。　　That's　a'。　　And　that's　no　ower　muckle。'



''Deed　no；'　assented　the　mother。



John　said　nothing。　　But　when　his　visitor　rose　he　bade　him　a　warm

good…night。



When　Robert　returned　to　Aberdeen　he　was　the　bearer　of　such　a　message

as　made　poor　Jessie　glad　at　heart。　　This　was　his　first　experience　of

the　sort。



When　he　left　the　cottage；　he　did　not　return　to　the　house；　but

threaded　the　little　forest　of　pines；　climbing　the　hill　till　he　came

out　on　its　bare　crown；　where　nothing　grew　but　heather　and

blaeberries。　　There　he　threw　himself　down；　and　gazed　into　the

heavens。　　The　sun　was　below　the　horizon；　all　the　dazzle　was　gone　out

of　the　gold；　and　the　roses　were　fast　fading；　the　downy　blue　of　the

sky　was　trembling　into　stars　over　his　head；　the　brown　dusk　was

gathering　in　the　air；　and　a　wind　full　of　gentleness　and　peace　came

to　him　from　the　west。　　He　let　his　thoughts　go　where　they　would；　and

they　went　up　into　the　abyss　over　his　head。



'Lord；　come　to　me；'　he　cried　in　his　heart；　'for　I　cannot　go　to　thee。

If　I　were　to　go　up　and　up　through　that　awful　space　for　ages　and

ages；　I　should　never　find　thee。　　Yet　there　thou　art。　　The　tenderness

of　thy　infinitude　looks　upon　me　from　those　heavens。　　Thou　art　in

them　and　in　me。　　Because　thou　thinkest；　I　think。　　I　am　thineall

thine。　　I　abandon　myself　to　thee。　　Fill　me　with　thyself。　　When　I　am

full　of　thee；　my　griefs　themselves　will　grow　golden　in　thy　sunlight。

Thou　holdest　them　and　their　cause；　and　wilt　find　some　nobler

atonement　between　them　than　vile　forgetfulness　and　the　death　of

love。　　Lord；　let　me　help　those　that　are　wretched　because　they　do　not

know　thee。　　Let　me　tell　them　that　thou；　the　Life；　must　needs　suffer

for　and　with　them；　that　they　may　be　partakers　of　thy　ineffable

peace。　　My　life　is　hid　in　thine：　take　me　in　thy　hand　as　Gideon　bore

the　pitcher　to　the　battle。　　Let　me　be　broken　if　need　be；　that　thy

light　may　shine　upon　the　lies　which　men　tell　them　in　thy　name；　and

which　eat　away　their　hearts。'



Having　persuaded　Shargar　to　remain　with　Mrs。　Falconer　for　a　few

days；　and　thus　remove　the　feeling　of　offence　she　still　cherished

because　of　his　'munelicht　flittin'；'　he　returned　to　Dr。　Anderson；

who　now　unfolded　his　plans　for　him。　　These　were；　that　he　should

attend　the　medical　classes　common　to　the　two　universities；　and　at

the　same　time　accompany　him　in　his　visits　to　the　poor。　　He　did　not

at　all　mean；　he　said；　to　determine　Robert's　life　as　that　of　a

medical　man；　but　from　what　he　had　learned　of　his　feelings；　he　was

confident　that　a　knowledge　of　medicine　would　be　invaluable　to　him。

I　think　the　good　doctor　must　have　foreseen　the　kind　of　life　which

Falconer　would　at　length　choose　to　lead；　and　with　true　and　admirable

wisdom；　sought　to　prepare　him　for　it。　　However　this　may　be；　Robert

entertained　the　proposal　gladly；　went　into　the　scheme　with　his　whole

heart；　and　began　to　widen　that　knowledge　of　and　sympathy　with　the

poor　which　were　the　foundation　of　all　his　influence　over　them。



For　a　time；　therefore；　he　gave　a　diligent　and　careful　attendance

upon　lectures；　read　sufficiently；　took　his　rounds　with　Dr。　Anderson；

and　performed　such　duties　as　he　delegated　to　his　greater　strength。

Had　the　healing　art　been　far　less　of　an　enjoyment　to　him　than　it

was；　he　could　yet　hardly　have　failed　of　great　progress　therein；　but

seeing　that　it　accorded　with　his　best　feelings；　profoundest

theories；　and　loftiest　hopes；　and　that　he　received　it　as　a　work

given　him　to　do；　it　is　not　surprising　that　a　certain　faculty　of

cure；　almost　partaking　of　the　instinctive；　should　have　been　rapidly

developed　in　him；　to　the　wonder　and　delight　of　his　friend　and

master。



In　this　labour　he　again　spent　about　four　years；　during　which　time　he

gathered　much　knowledge　of　human　nature；　learning　especially　to

judge　it　from　no　stand…point　of　his　own；　but　in　every　individual

case　to　take　a　new　position　whence　the　nature　and　history　of　the　man

should　appear　in　true　relation　to　the　yet　uncompleted　result。　　He

who　cannot　feel　the　humanity　of　his　neighbour　because　he　is

different　from　himself　in　education；　habits；　opinions；　morals；

circumstances；　objects；　is　unfit；　if　not　unworthy；　to　aid　him。



Within　this　period　Shargar　had　gone　out　to　India；　where　he　had

distinguished　himself　particularly　on　a　certain　harassing　march。

Towards　the　close　of　the　four　years　he　had　leave　of　absence；　and

was　on　his　way　home。　　About　the　same　time　Robert；　in　consequence　of

a　fever　brought　on　by　over…fatigue；　was　in　much　need　of　a　holiday；

and　Dr。　Anderson　proposed　that　he　should　meet　Moray　at　Southampton。



Shargar　had　no　expectation　of　seeing　him；　and　his　delight；　not

greater　on　that　account；　broke　out　more　wildly。　　No　thinnest　film

had　grown　over　his　heart；　though　in　all　else　he　was　considerably

changed。　　The　army　had　done　everything　that　was　wanted　for　his

outward　show　of　man。　　The　drawling　walk　had　vanished；　and　a　firm

step　and　soldierly　stride　had　taken　its　place；　his　bearing　was　free；

yet　dignified；　his　high　descent　came　out　in　the　ease　of　his　carriage

and　manners：　there　could　be　no　doubt　that　at　last　Shargar　was　a

gentleman。　　His　hair　had　changed　to　a　kind　of　red　chestnut。　　His

complexion　was　much　darkened　with　the　Indian　sun。　　His　eyes；　too；

were　darker；　and　no　longer　rolled　slowly　from　one　object　to　another；

but　indicated　by　their　quick　glances　a　mind　ready　to　observe　and　as

ready　to　resolve。　　His　whole　appearance　was　more　than

prepossessingit　was　even　striking。



Robert　was　greatly　delighted　with　the　improvement　in　him；　and　far

more　when　he　found　that　his　mind's　growth　had　at　least　kept　pace

with　his　body's　change。　　It　would　be　more　correct　to　say　that　it　had

preceded　and　occasioned　it；　for　however　much　the　army　may　be　able　to

do　in　that　way；　it　had　certainly；　in　Moray's　case；　only　seconded　the

law　of　inward　growth　working　outward　show。



The　young　men　went　up　to　London　together；　and　great　was　the　pleasure

they　had　in　each　other's　society；　after　so　long　a　separation　in

which　their　hearts　had　remained　unchanged　while　their　natures　had

grown　both　worthy　and　capable　of　more　honour　and　affection。　　They

had　both　much　to　tell；　for　Robert　was　naturally　open　save　in　regard

to　his　grief；　and　Shargar　was　proud　of　being　able　to　communicate

with　Robert　from　a　nearer　level；　in　virtue　of　now　knowing　many

things　that　Robert　could　not　know。　　They　went　together　to　a　hotel　in

St。　Paul's　Churchyard。









CHAPTER　III。



A　MERE　GLIMPSE。



At　the　close　of　a　fortnight；　Falconer　thought　it　time　to　return　to

his　duties　in　Aberdeen。　　The　day　before　the　steamer　sailed；　they

found　themselves；　about　six　o'clock；　in　Gracechurch　Street。　　It　was

a　fine　summer　evening。　　The　street　was　less　crowded　than　earlier　in

the　afternoon；　although　there　was　a　continuous　stream　of　waggons；

omnibuses；　and　cabs　both　ways。　　As　they　stood　on　the　curbstone；　a

little　way　north　of　Lombard　Street；　waiting　to　cross



'You　see；　Shargar；'　said　Robert；　'Nature　will　have　her　way。　　Not　all

the　hurry　and　confusion　and　roar　can　keep　the　shadows　out。　　Look：

wherever　a　space　is　for　a　moment　vacant；　there　falls　a　shadow；　as

grotesque；　as　strange；　as　full　of　unutterable　things　as　any　shadow

on　a　field　of　grass　and　daisies。'



'I　remember　feeling　the　same　kind　of　thing　in　India；'　returned

Shargar；　'where　nothing　looked　as　if　it　belonged　to　the　world　I　was

born　in；　but　my　own　shadow。　　In　such　a　street　as　this；　however；　all

the　shadows　look　as　if　they　belonged　to　another　world；　and　had　no

business　here。'



'I　quite　feel　that；'　returned　Falconer。　'They　come　like　angels　from

the　lovely　west　and　the　pure　air；　to　show　that　London　cannot　hurt

them；　for　it　too　is　within　the　Kingdom　of　Godto　teach　the　lovers

of　nature；　like　the　old　orthodox　Jew；　St。　Peter；　that　they　must　not

call　anything　common　or　unclean。'



Shargar　made　no　reply；　and　Robert　glanced　round　at　him。　　He　was

staring　with　wide　eyes　into；　not　at　the　crowd　of　vehicles　that

filled　the　street。　　His　face　was　pale；　and　strangely　like　the

Shargar　of　old　days。



'What's　the　matter　with　you？'　　Robert　asked　in　some　bewilderment。



Receiving　no　answer；　he　followed　Shargar's　gaze；　and